Who Da Man? - My Journey into Womanhood (Part 4)

Nearly two years ago I blogged about My Journey into Womanhood.  God was really showing me a lot about myself that Summer and He still is.  My journey into womanhood is still continuing and I am recognizing  that this may take a while.  Yep, I'm a WIP (Woman in process).  I wish God could just do one of His suddenlies right now and make me into the woman He has purposed me to be, but it's just not happening.  I am a bit stubborn, okay, okay... a lot stubborn.  And you know, when the Master Potter recognizes that the clay isn't being putty in His hands, He will pound it back into a mold then reshape it on His wheel.  Ouch!!! This has been a painful experience, but here I am already pounded and still on the wheel in the hands of the Creator.

I have an idea of the design He would like me to be as it is in the Book.  With finesse the Master Potter is fine-tuning me between His fingers to have the feminine heart in 1 Peter 3:4  and the character of the Proverbs 31 woman. I am taking a while. Frankly, I have thought I was done many times, but the Potter knows best.  My concern is that after the wheel, comes the fire.  Undoubtedly, I must be tested to truly know if I am the vessel I was created me to be so God will get the glory.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7 

The good thing is that I realize God is working and that I may have a loud mouth, but can still have a quiet and gentle spirit.  I am also learning that I can't go on this journey alone - I have the Bible as my compass and I am doing better at allowing the Holy Spirit to take the drivers seat.  He is good at knowing when to take stops and when to let others come on parts of the journey with us.  If it were me I probably would not have let anyone come with us or I would not have journeyed with them for as long as we have.  But, I am kinda understanding what He is doing.... sometimes - I have things to learn with all those who are with us.

Right now, I feel like I am in a dark place - nowhere near where I feel I should be. However, God has promised me "treasures of darkness" (ref. Isaiah 45:3)  So when this "jar of clay" is ready to be filled, I will have treasures in me to share with others.

The Community of Believers

In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord’s people. And they exceeded our expectations: They gave themselves first of all to the Lord, and then by the will of God also to us. 2 Corinthians 8:2-5

Paul wrote to the Corinthians in 2 Corinthians 8 appealing for them to give out of their plenty to help supply the need of other believers.  This was in stark contrast to the Macedonians who he described earlier in the chapter as having "rich generosity" in "their extreme poverty."

Wow!!! The Macedonians were even pleading for the "privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord's people."  Now, this is amazing.  They were going through great difficulties, but did not selfishly give in to self-pity, but rather selflessly gave in a self sacrificial manner.  They didn't complain about giving, but they joyfully shared even more than they could.

This makes me really think if the Church, as a community of believers, is really acting like a community should.  Two definitions of community stand out to me in the Merriam-Webster dictionary.  The first is a "unified body of individuals,"  and the second, "joint ownership or participation."  I believe these two should be what Church looks like, but it is not.

Christ prayed in John 17 that the believers would be one as He and the Father are one. A unified body is dear to His heart. Yet, we have chosen to argue over petty differences, instead of unite in our belief in Christ.

The Macedonians did not only give themselves to firstly the Lord, but they also offered up themselves to Paul and his fellow laborers in Christ. What a fantastic model for the Church to live by! Instead, we are so busy, being busy with our own stuff and hoarding our "riches"  that we don't commit our time, talent and treasures to God and His people.  We grumble about not having enough to tithe, although Christ said to give up everything and follow Him.  We hold on to our possessions, while trying to acquire more of the "unnecessities" to feel happier, even though our brother or sister in Christ knowingly to us suffers dire need.  Ignoring their state, we focus on ourselves and our family, but making sure to go to church religiously and doing ministry vacantly, hoping to buy God's grace.  We have failed to realize The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for our sake He became poor, so that we through His poverty might become rich. (v. 9)

Jesus was stripped of everything when He went to the cross for us.  Yet, to give someone a little assistance is often deemed as a great inconvenience to us. I am overjoyed that Christ did not see the cross as an inconvenience.

I don't want to miss the second definition, which is "joint ownership or participation." Yikes!!! I know this will make most people squeamish as we think that we have worked hard to acquire all we have and we don't want to give it to a lazy bum.  Wait a minute though, the Bible unequivocally advocates hard work and wisdom.  We don't support slackness, as that is madness.  However, whenever possible, we should try to help those who are working hard, but still aren't making ends meet.  Paul emphasized as it is written: “The one who gathered much did not have too much, and the one who gathered little did not have too little.” (v. 15) IT IS BIBLICAL.

We get so caught up with "our" stuff and keeping up appearances that we become afraid to give,as we consider it loss instead of gain. Gripped by fear, we seem to forget that we are in an upside down kingdom in which giving is receiving.

It is time to do what is right in the eyes of God and the eyes of man by proving our love through the gift of giving, not to buy God's love or man's favor however, but to show God's grace working in us.

Let You Go

My pride wouldn’t let me admit that you, my formidable foe, were hurting me

You did not relent and kept on pounding harshly on my chest

Beaten and battered my anger rose as the sun set

In the darkness, I turned my stony face toward the moon,

Hoping you would not see me cry

I did not want you to think I was weak

So many people told me to let you go

But, you were such a friendly fiend

I became familiar with all your ways

And, you stole my heart

You built a protective fort around us

No one could every break down the thick walls to get to us

Our defenses were up

And we kept up the façade that I was safe

I was never lonely as you kept my company

Speaking to me day and night

The fire you sent through my veins intoxicated me

I was forever yours

Yes, my friends warned me against you

But, before I knew it you were a fixture in my heart

Now, I realize they were right

I became your prisoner

I became your slave

When I struggled to get away you held on so tight

I didn’t want any more of the pain

You hurt me and you made me hurt others

You made me desolate and depressed

Using all your might against me,  you broke my will

I searched for hope and I found it deep beyond my soul

The Spirit within gave me more light than the moon offered in the tortuous darkness of my soul

Then, I realized I had to make a choice to leave you

If not, I would forever be imprisoned by you

My weeping lasted through the night

But, now it is morning

Today, I will stand firm against you, my great enemy

I will see my salvation

The battle was never mine

So, I will give it up and I will let you go

By N. Carara