Submission???

Lately, God has placed marriage and family on my heart. I am not quite sure why. It could be that God wants me to have a marriage and family, or to help others with their own. Whatever the case, I have sought to understand more about the two from God's perspective.

I have read the Bible and watched many sermons, and several verses are many times referred to. Ephesians 5: 22-32 is a passage which is often used to explain how marriage should be. However, I have difficulty with the first three verses of the passage.

²² Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

What is my problem you may ask?  Well, it is the mention of the word submit three times.  I can't get away from it.  I feel like it is being drilled into my head.  Distress overcomes me when I think of submitting to a husband.  Come on he is human, he is not Jesus, why would God want me to submit to someone who is fallible?  Moreover, why would a husband be likened to Christ?

I am not totally opposed to the idea of submission.  I recognize the importance of submitting to figures in authority.  But, in democracies governments get voted out; children grow up and leave their parent's home; and if you don't feel like church leaders are living up to Godly standards, then there is always another church.

But marriage, in God's eyes - it's for life.  

In the original marriage vows written in England during the fifteen hundreds, the bride's vows were like this:

I,_____, take thee,_____, to my lawful wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth. 


Let's not get thrown off by troth.  It means "one's word or promise". So the bride gives her word, while the groom plight thee my troth, therefore, he was pledging his faithfulness to his promise. The obey part was omitted from the groom's vows.  Makes sense, as he wasn't the one who was supposed to submit.


In 1922, the Episcopalian church voted to eliminate the word obey from the bride's vows.  I guess I am not the only who was having issues with the word obey.  When I look up the Greek meaning of submit in the New Testament, it says "to subject one's self, obey". You may think that taking out this word out of the vows would make me feel better, but it doesn't.  If it is God's intention for wives to submit, then it should be there. A Christian wife's submitting to her husband, is of utmost significance next to submitting to God.  Just because the thought makes my heart palpitate, doesn't mean it's not right.  It is God's way.

We are so selfish that we will alter God's scriptures to fit our lives, thinking our Almighty Creator's Word is faulty.  Therefore, we fix it to make our lives more comfortable. God is not about our comfort, He is about His Kingdom.  However, our view is limited and we do not see the eternal value of His commands.

If God's purpose is for me to get married and have a family, then I must make the choice to put myself under my husband's authority.  I don't know why I worry about submitting. The fact is that my husband would have greater responsibility than I would in the family. His role is to be like Christ. Those are big sandals to fill. If he doesn't treat me the way he should, then he has to answer to my Heavenly Father.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3:7


I am hoping that if I ever have a husband he will understand this. Not every man is ready to follow God's prescribed methods for leading a family. Therefore, the onus is on me to rely on God to line up His man for me. My rights should be given up and my will placed under God first. I need to be patient as God prepares me and the husband He has for me.  And if He doesn't have a husband for me, then I still need to submit to God's will.  


I believe I have a hard time with submission because it is hard for me to trust. I learned early never to trust a man who says, "Trust me." If he has to implore me to trust him, then something is awry and trust me, I'll be out. Also, as I mature as a Christian, I realize that God won't choose for me who I think is best for me. I am of the opinion that I am a good judge of character...well come to think of it, my history may not back that up. Alright, God's choice may be the best, even though I may like it.  God is shaping me into His character and His selection of a mate may grate me. That would be God's modus operandi to smooth out my rough edges.  


In spite of this, He loves me and my husband-to-be, and if we both submit to Him, it will be a beautiful union according to God's holy ordinance.