Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Where Has All the Love Gone?

Lately, I have been hearing of so many marriages that are ending in divorce. In other cases, I am privy to the pretense within certain marriages as spouses tell me that they put up a front to show perfection.  Yet, behind the facade lies a home in ruins.

I have been praying. asking God why the covenant of marriage has been crumbling. Over the last few days He has given me the reason from the collapse during my devotions.  It is simply DISOBEDIENCE.  We are not following His teachings.

Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him. He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine but the Father’s who sent Me."  John 14:23-24

Not only are we, not loving each other, but we are not loving God.  If we did love Him as we should, we would obey His teachings and He would abide in us and our homes.  As Christians, we have taken the Lord's name in vain, by living our lives the way we want.  We make our plans asking God to bless them, instead of asking God what His plan is for our lives, so we can be a blessing to Him.

God wants our marriages to succeed, but we have not opened the door for Him to come in and make our hearts ready for what He has prepared for us.  We are not willing to watch and wait for His way and His timing.  Instead, we jump the gun, and like Usain Bolt in the 100 meter, we false start.  Then as everything goes wrong we run to God asking him to fix the problems we created from our own willful nature. And, if He doesn't fix it fast enough for us, then we take matters in our own hands, causing more hurt and heartache.

The solution to our problem is to continuously abide in Christ.

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing." John 15:4-5
Our marriages are going nowhere if we are not connected to the Vine.  With getting nourishment from the Vine our marriages bear no fruit and dies.  Both parties should come into the marriage being one with  Christ.

“These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." John 15:11-13

Too many spouses are not on friendly terms. The home is a war zone. There is no joy in the family as we do not love one another as Jesus told us to.  If we would only obey His word, we would have His joy and we know that the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10).  Marriages are not strong today, they are built on shaky ground and lack joy. We need to follow God's instructions for marriage.  Wives should submit and work on having a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight. Husbands should be considerate of there wives and respect them. (Paraphrase 1 Peter 3:4-5 & 7) The husband should be willing to die for his wife, and the wife should be willing to live for her husband.

You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. These things I command you, that you love one another. John 15:16-17

Jesus has chosen us to be His disciples, to let His light shine throughout the world. Our marriages too, should be a beacon of light to a hurting world.  Unfortunately, Christian marriages are no different from those of the world.  We have perceived marriage to be like that of a Hollywood movie.  When we romanticize marriage, working arduously to have a fairy tale wedding day so we can live "happily ever after", our actions become incongruous with the principles of the Bible.  

Jesus is concerned with our image, since our image is supposed to reflect Him, not a Hollywood celebrity couple.  Becoming like Him, means long suffering.  He uses our differences in marriage to smooth off our edges so we can look more like Him.  We grate on each other, but this irritation is necessary.  It doesn't feel like the "happily ever after" we expected, but it is what we need.  Nevertheless, this is not what we want so we opt out of the marriage as it is not pleasing us.  We never seem to understand that it is NOT about us, but rather the God in us.  

Our marriages are not really consummated (made complete) as we confuse contract with covenant.  We believe our agreement is just between each other, so we sign on the line and seal the deal with the act of intercourse, always in the back of our minds there is an option for out.  God's view is more than this.  He sees marriage as a covenant not just between a wife and husband, but it is an agreement with Him.

For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. 1 Corinthians 6:16-17

We are one in union with God 'til death do us part'.  Then, we don't have to ask, "Where has all the love gone?"

Toby Mac - Made to Love

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