Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. Proverbs 31:23
Seriously now? Here is this dude chilling at the city gate with the other guys, while his wife is working hard, getting up when it's still dark, buying fields, planting vineyards, and managing her household among a number of other things. This just made me mad as I felt that this lazy man was taking advantage of his wife and she was letting him get away with it. I would not have been dealing with such a man.
But then, I looked closer at this man. How did he get such a wonderful woman who had this noble nature and who was involved in so many industrious initiatives. Verse 10 asked "A wife of noble character who can find?" Well, he sure did, didn't he?
That must not have been an easy task as she is worth far more than rubies (v. 10). He had to have some good qualities himself to attract this woman and better yet, get her father's permission to take her as his wife. I believe her Father knew her value and would not have let her go to just any man.
So, who was this man? He was one of the elders in the community. And, he was not sitting idly by just chit-chatting with the fellows. The city gate was a marketplace where business was conducted and it was a public meeting place where important issues pertaining to the city were discussed. This was an influential man who was taking responsibility for his community. Consequently, he was a wise man to have chosen a wife who was adept at managing the home.
This Proverbs 31 man had full confidence (v. 11) in his wife. He knew he could trust her to do what she had to do. I believe he could trust her, because he too was trustworthy. He honored and respected her, so he knew there was no reason for her to do anything else, but to bring him good, not harm (v. 11). She didn't have to worry about him cheating, gambling the money away or beating her. She was confident in his love, knowing that he loved her, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:25)
This type of love gave her freedom and the peace of mind to explore new ventures and be all she could be. She didn't mind getting up early to take care of business, because her husband first loved her and expressed his love in a multitude of ways that made her want to work hard to give him a comfortable environment to live in. She didn't feel obligated, this was all for love, she was giving back to a man who loved her as he loved his own body. He took great care of her and she flourished in the warmth of his love.
He was a generous man, he encouraged his wife to give to the poor and help the needy. After all, she was not the type of woman to do things behind her husband's back without his consent. He knew she was a giving woman and supported her in sharing what they had.
A strong woman did not intimidate him, because he understood who he was as a man of God. His wife's strength and dignity (v. 25) attracted him and so she could laugh easily and gracefully as he encouraged her to grow to be a mighty woman of God.
This man also knew that his wife was wise and had faithful instructions (v. 26), which came from Biblical principles. Being discerning, he understood that he should listen to her heartfelt words and this helped him in making better decisions, hence becoming greatly respected among the elders.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” (Proverbs 31:28-29)
The Proverbs 31 man gets better and better as I dig deeper into his characteristics. He definitely knows how to treat his wife. He adores her and appreciates her. He won't allow his children to condemn her, but instead to commend her. He tells her how wonderful she is and that there is no woman who could compare to her.
This husband gives her the reward she deserves and he praises her works at the city gate (paraphrased v. 31). He doesn't just flatter her to her face, but celebrates her among his friends and co-workers. He tells the world of her love for God, her gentle and quiet nature, and that there is no other woman for him. She is the woman who he has left his parents to cleave with, and he will never leave her or forsake her. She is confident in his love because he is a man of noble character.
I can see clearly now. It is said that behind every good man there is a good woman, but it takes a wise man following Godly principles to find a good Godly woman.
Time for our modern men to Man Up and become a Proverbs 31 man!
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