Weapons of the Righteous – Be Humble

Recently, I went in to my bank to get a new debit card as my old card was falling apart.  After being with the customer service representative for nearly an hour, he could not get through to my branch to get approval, so he went to his supervisor to get signed off on giving me the card.  However, the supervisor wouldn’t because of concerns with my income.  I am a missionary so I get donations, but that explanation was not enough even though they had my bank statement.  Normally, I would have gotten angry and felt humiliated because of the denial of a replacement card, but after going through similar situations over these past years of being a missionary, I simply expressed my thanks and calmly left.  The next morning God showed me what to do and my branch finally sent an email, so I got my card.  God worked it out and I was thankful my ego did not rise up in anger.   

I know God has allowed me to go through these circumstances to deal with my pride issue.  When I moved back to Jamaica about ten years ago, I thought I was going to conquer the media industry, but instead rejection conquered me.  In the space of two years, I had been turned down by numerous potential employers, I failed to come up with sponsors for programs I had produced, and when I finally did get a part-time job, it didn’t work out well.  I felt dejected and demoralized.  I wondered why nothing would go my way.   It was years later that I realized God couldn’t use me as He would like because my pride was getting in the way.   I now comprehend that it was His grace, mercy and love that allowed me to be rejected for whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted. (Matthew 23:12)   God desires to exalt me, but first I needed to be humble.

I am thankful that God has humbled me throughout the years, even though pride does have the tendency to still rear its ugly head. Nevertheless, I have come to a point in my life where I often ask God to search my heart to see if there is any wicked way in me, so that I can quickly turn from any such thought or deed.  I understand that pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18). Therefore, I have become much more diligent in checking on the motives of my heart.  

Too many of us are overly acquainted with pride, which is a sinister character who draws us into self-centeredness leading to selfishness and even self-pity.  Some may not agree that self-pity comes from the root of pride.  Well, I Googled self-pity and it means excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one's own troubles.  Self-pity can be quite egocentric, looking at self as being victimized.   Christ has made us victors not victims.  We are victors when we walk in humility with an outward focus to help and encourage others.   That doesn’t mean that we don’t take care of ourselves.  Jesus told us to love others as we love ourselves.  Without a doubt, He does expect us to love ourselves, but not be lovers of self.  Yes, there is a difference.   When we love ourselves we are content in who God created us to be and we are ready to share His love with the world around us without applause.   On the other hand, when we are lovers of self we are self-seeking and expect others to feed our feeling of self-importance.   Being a lover of self is sin because it is pride, and God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. (1 Peter 5:5)   Therefore, we must clothe ourselves with humility towards each other.  Jesus was not a fan of those who were lovers of self.

But they do all their deeds to be noticed by men; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments. They love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues, and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men. Matthew 23:5-7

Throughout my years in ministry, I have encountered many who have given to be seen and lauded by men.  Some go as far as pretending to give in order that their façade of philanthropy is publicized to garner praise.  Not only does the right hand know what the left hand is doing, but so does the whole body and the rest of other bodies who are willing to hear and read about such prideful acts of seeming generosity.  Jesus said, “So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.”  Matthew 6:2

It is much better to humble ourselves before the Lord, than for Him to humble us.   When we humble ourselves before Him, we will not do anything out of selfish ambition, but rather, we will value others above ourselves and He will lift us up.  Solomon tells us in Proverbs that the Lord detests the proud of heart and they will not go unpunished.  This can be seen throughout the Scriptures.

For the Lord of hosts will have a day of reckoning
Against everyone who is proud and lofty
And against everyone who is lifted up,
That he may be abased. Isaiah 12:2

I would prefer not to go this route, especially when there is this great promise in Psalm 37:11 - But the humble will inherit the land and will delight themselves in abundant prosperity.  I had meditated on this verse at one time and desired my inheritance quickly.  The version of the Bible I had read said that the meek will inherit the land.  Consequently, I set out to be meek by studying a couple books.  Meekness apparently is not a popular topic or else I would have bought more literature to ensure that I would become as meek as I could be.  I guess many persons do not understand that meekness is not weakness, but rather quiet strength.  I wanted the land, so I was trying to teach myself meekness.  Unfortunately for me, it only made me more miserable.  Why?  I was focused on self and getting what I wanted for my happiness.  

We need to be wrapped up in humility, not thinking that we are better than others, or that we know better than God as that causes outward rebellion.  Also, prideful humility may sound oxymoronic, but boasting in our humbleness can be quite popular in Christian circles.  Lest we forget, God knows our hearts.  It is quite important to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves because in our pride we cannot truly seek God as our thoughts of self do not leave room for Him.  Let us humble ourselves in the presence of the Lord, so that He will exalt us in His timing. 

Fearing Success

A few years ago, I went on a fast to break my fear of success. On recognizing that I dreaded prospering, I was determined to overcome it. One may not readily comprehend this.  Fear of failure seems much more logical. Truthfully, I didn't understand it myself. It took a while for this realization to sink in. If I remember correctly, I received this insight while praying.

Looking at me or knowing me, you would never think I would be ridden with this emotion as I am a driven person. Consequently, I decided to use my drive to conqueror my fear. But, alas it was to no avail. I couldn't rid myself of it.

Earlier this year, thoughts of my fear flooded my mind.  Therefore, I once again set out to disable my nemesis using the Sword of the Spirit. I went to the Bible and did a word search for success in order to grasp that God wanted me to succeed.  The following are some of the verses I found in my search.

Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Joshua 1:7

So he sent David away from him and gave him command over a thousand men, and David led the troops in their campaigns. In everything he did he had great success, because the LORD was with him. When Saul saw how successful he was, he was afraid of him. 1 Samuel 18:13-15

I answered them by saying, “The God of heaven will give us success...." Nehemiah 2:20a

The Sword did not seem to penetrate my heart and mind deep enough. I still had my doubts, God Himself is not opposed to success - He gives it, yet, I cowered at the thought.  I would ask for success, however, I would somehow repel it.  Basically, I was doing things well.  Many people liked the work I did and praised my accomplishments.  In spite of this, I knew deep down that it was not enough.  I could do much more - God wanted me to do so much more.  As I climbed the hill of success, I would come to a plateau, never reaching the highest height as fear strangled my efforts.

It wasn't until quite recently it struck me that fear of success was not my problem, it was just a by-product.  I had to dig deeper to uncover the root.  The source of my issue was my resentment of success and some of it's consequences like money, power and influence. One of the verses that predisposed me to hate money was:

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 1 Timothy 6:10

I believed that if I disliked money, then I would be a good Christian.  Being annoyed at prosperity preachers peddling their Christian wares, I sought to stay as far away as possible from the idea of affluence.  What would others think of me if I were rich and accomplished? They would surely hate me like Saul hated successful David.   I couldn't take that risk as I might become a snob.  Heaven forbid, people would think that I loved money if I had nice clothes, car, and house.  So, I only prayed for just enough to get by, and I could get by on very little. In addition, I didn't venture into areas which would make me too successful.

It is amazing how thoughts can manifest into reality. I actually have nothing. But really, at this time it is a good thing.  My extreme lack of resources has made me examine myself and I now see how selfish I have been.   I have blocked the hand of God to give me all He wants.  He has desired to bless me so I could bless others.  My success and riches are not just for me, but gifts God wants me to pass on to the disadvantaged.  My being impoverished, may result in others staying destitute. Without a car, I can't give anyone a ride.  Without a house, I can't offer anyone a place to stay. Without money, I can't give to the poor.  I have found that my ministry is hindered because I don't have enough.  I have been self-absorbed in my false humility, obstructing God from doing abundant work in and through my life.    

I have been worried that riches and pleasure would choke the seed God has placed within me. (Luke 8:14)   But, I must always remember, no matter what, my identity is in Christ, whether I am rich or poor, or I have success in the world's eyes. God's perspective on success is not the same as our culture's definition.  He is about character building and stepping out in integrity.  I cannot be manipulative and corrupt to be a success.  That is failure from God's point of view.  Wisdom is essential and she assures us in Proverbs that With me are riches and honor, enduring wealth and prosperity. Proverbs 8:18

Worldly wealth should never dictate the riches I have in Christ, which are His grace, His glory and the wisdom and knowledge of God.  When I have riches in Christ, I will know better how to utilize material gain and influence. 

Success takes courage. In spite of how much I attain materially, or how influential I become, I must follow God's path.  Undoubtedly, this will not be popular with most people.  There is a Promised Land and I must fight to possess it as God has purposed this. Even if it means battling my own fears, I must struggle against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12  It is imperative that I succeed not only for me, but for society's good.  

God has equipped me to succeed in everything He has purposed me to do. He clothes me for battle and empowers me with the Holy Spirit.  I am dressed to win being more than a conqueror in Christ.  God wants me to succeed.  Jesus came to give me abundant life. (paraphrase John 10:10)  

The Lord wants me to occupy the land and walk in my authority in whichever sphere He places me.  I need to be sure I am surrendered to Him and I am His will. 

Then, I don't have to be Fearing Success as the Lord is with me through it all.