Being Still

"Be still and know that I am God."  Psalm 46:10

A day before dislocating my shoulder in June, 2016, I heard God's voice clearly, "Be still."  For weeks before that the message of being still repeatedly came up in Bible verses, songs and just speaking to folks.  I knew without a doubt God wanted me to be still and that dislocated shoulder made me be still.  This happened just a few weeks before hearing that the short documentary, which I had submitted to a film festival was being nominated for an award.  The nomination was a big deal as it could be used as a selling point in raising funds for the film.  But, alas, the production of the documentary had to go on hold.

I was diligently doing my physical therapy when this dislocation occurred.  My physical therapist was very concerned as I was doing really well in my sessions and in my progress.  Consequently, I had to bite the bullet and go to an orthopedic surgeon.  After a couple of tests he discovered that my shoulder socket was worn in the front and so it caused instability in my shoulder.  I had to do surgery.  Being a local missionary with no other income and no health insurance, I had to raise funds for this procedure.  I still am raising funds.  This meant I had to not only be still, but I have to wait.  

I have had to be still physically, because the slightest movement in a certain direction could result in a dislocation.  And, I also have to be still in my soul, so that I am not always anxious as I wait for the surgery while the funds slowly come in.  However, I believe that God is using my stillness and waiting as a period of preparation for the next level He wants to bring me to in Him.  I have had time to ask Him to search me and see if there is any wicked way in me (ref. Psalm 139:23-24) and to create a clean heart and renew a right spirit in me (ref. Psalm 51:10).  I have looked upward as I know I need to look inward and become who God wants me to be.

This season of waiting has been quite fruitful.  I wrote a book, Purpose to the Pain, to help raise funds for the surgery.  But, more important is the fact that while I expounded on the blog entries that comprise this book, I was able to evaluate my life and God's work in me.  I am not where I want to be, but I am definitely not where I used to be, or who I used to be.  God has been transforming me through a series of struggles and my dislocations are no different.  

My arm is in a sling as I wait for Usain Bolt to run in the Olympics

I can now be thankful in extreme pain, knowing that God is still with me and loving me.  My surgery will be in His timing.  The funds will come just when it needs to and when I am not dislocated spiritually.  Slowly but surely, I am getting there.  God does not want me to be spiritually dislocated or else I will not be able to handle what He has purposed me to do.  This period is preparation for a purpose, so I must persevere through the pain.  Therefore, I am still and I wait as God teaches me to be who He wants me to be.  

Valuing Our Inner-city Residents

I haven't blogged in a while, but tonight I just felt I should.  I logged into my account and saw a friend's blog about some folks bleaching their skin in a country in South America.

In inner-city Jamaica, skin bleaching is quite common also.  But, I have come to realize that the problem is not wanting to be lighter, but wanting to be more accepted.  Many people grow up feeling unloved and unwanted.  I have heard stories where the darker child stays home and does housework, while the lighter child goes to school as the parent believes the child who is more brown has the greater chance of succeeding.

People want to succeed, so they do what they feel is necessary to make this happen. It seems the lighter the skin, the brighter the future.  They also want to be accepted and many have said when they are "brown" they are more sought after.  Therefore, they also bleach to please others.

Our society gives us a lower self esteem.  Lighter skin models sell the most products and they seem to have better lives.  Many feel lesser because they are darker.  Missing the truth that they are fearfully and wonderfully made.

I want to help to change minds and consequently change lives.  Marcus Garvey implored people of African descent to "Emancipate yourself from mental slavery."  However, many are still trapped by self-deprecating thoughts that lead to self destructive behavior.  Many children have been told that they are "worthless" and "good for nothing" by their parents and teachers.  They grow up believing this and often don't even realize how gifted they are and that they are created for a special purpose.

I got an idea to show the positive side of the inner-city community where I am a missionary in a documentary TV series.  I knew it had to be God's idea.  The residents need to recognize that they are His treasures - diamonds in the rough. They are special with talents and gifts unique to them. They should have a chance to shine, and that is what Parade Gardens:Diamond in the Rough will allow them to do.

Plus, others in Jamaica need to understand that the folks from our inner-city communities are special.  Inner-city communities are the pulse of Jamaican culture.  People come from throughout the world to experience this culture.   We cannot deny the impact of these neighborhoods on our society.  We need to encourage the residents of these communities to use their talents, to build themselves, their community and their nation.  It is time for us to stop denying their value because they of where they come from.  And, where they live is NOT JUST A GHETTO.  

Gold St. in Parade Gardens, Kingston, Jamaica

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